fuck this feeling in the pit of my stomach.

i don't understand anything anymore.
nothing makes sense and everything's a blur.
i just want to disappear.
i want to forget everything and everyone.
i want to forget my name and who I am.
i want to stop caring, but i can't bring myself to do so.


just kill me and get it over with,
stop taking your damn time.

rainy monday.

oh fuck.
i feel like i should be able to breathe again,
but yet i'm still struggling to catch my breath.
this wasn't supposed to be this way.

conflicted.

stand in the spotlight and take a bow

just let their voices, fade out and stand in the spotlight and take a bow.

don't let them break you down.

come on young lovers, lets do this right

Hey guys, Spencer here.

What have I been up to? Well lets see. I have The Spirit coming out next month! Christmas day and you should all go see it. Not for me because I suck, but definitely go see it for Kelsey and fucking SAMUEL L. JACKSON. You all know he's the man. It was so much fun working with him. Also, Frank Miller is a nut. I will never forget Comic Con 08, sitting next to him on that panel? Fucking priceless. He is just a damn NUT but so much fun to work with. That set was definitely never boring. Especially when you have your best friend there willing to fight with you in mud. Now that was fun, if they would've filmed that I think we could've made ourselves a pretty penny. Kelsey, we should totally reenact that for the people. haha.

Oh, my music thing! Haha. Well, I feel like a total loser for actually going through with this but if I fail then I can't ever say I didn't try right? I love music though, and no I'm not abandoning acting for it. I could never abandon acting, I'm not that great really. I have set up so many meetings with music execs lately, they all want in on the SPENCER J. ALBUM. I'm flattered that people are even taking an interest in this, really. I'm surprised to say the least. I mean, I want this to take off and be successful but I can only hope for the best. Though I will say that with awesome people like my best friends working on it with me, they know who they are....it's a step in the right direction of being awesome! I picked the best of the best and they just happen to be my very amazing friends.

Jules wrote a song that will eventually be my first single, it's called Young Lovers and it's absolutely amazing. I can't wait to record it. I can't wait to get into the studio finally after all the legal mumbo jumbo is done with. It'll be amazing. I have never been in a studio recording anything so this is all very new and exciting for me.

plans for this month and following ones?
- get brand-new New Yorker acquainted with the beautiful city.
- go see the tree lighting.
- thanksgiving in LA, then back home afterward.
- christmas in australia with awesome best friends. ( are we still doing that guys?)
- january means busybusybusy spencer.

adios amigos, los quiero a todos! <3